I can be quick to feel challenged or threatened by perceived criticism. Successful relationships demand great communication skills. It is essential to communicate and speak in a positive way to your partner. I want to tell you about it so we can put it behind us. Declare friendly intentions. He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel – Do This! Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Email WhatsApp Pinterest Print. If your partner forgets to call, you need to express how you feel. The continuing existence of anger outbursts from a spouse can deal irretrievable damage to a marriage. I rarely admit this (and frankly, I wonder why I'm doing it now), but I am a very defensive person. Sometimes, you can do all the right things to have a constructive conversation—watch your words, be vulnerable—and the other person still gets defensive. Husband Gets Angry When I Tell Him How I Feel: He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel. Stay calm and use a soft voice if you possibly can. If neither of these applies to you, if you feel like you are fair and kind when you approach him with complaints, then how he reacts is on him. If you want him or her to be receptive, open with something positive and non-threatening such as: I know you don’t mean to hurt me but something is bothering me. by Azad Chaiwala of GoMarry.com 22 May 2019 3 September 2019, How to Get Married, Relationship Advice. Coping with an angry spouse can be difficult - most especially- where you have little knowledge on how to remedy the situation. It gives your partner the benefit of the doubt, allowing, in the best of circumstances, for them to repair the situation with a simple, "I'm sorry. Saying, "I'm upset you didn't call when you said you would" is not defensive but open and honest. You want your partner to feel safe speaking with you.