It depends a lot on how much the person in question is willing and/or able to let you see. In other words, they can display such a baffling mixture of normal/abnormal traits that it’s difficult, sometimes impossible, to know what’s going on with them and whether it really is NPD. My mother was a narcissist and I was very codependent from childhood.

A Covert Narcissist will also paint a picture of having a perfect childhood even though it was a nightmare. We all know how to spot a narcissist. People will be kept at a distance to keep the secret abuse of the Covert Narcissist insular and within the family. The Covert Narcissists (CN) or the Silent Narcissists are much more difficult to spot. As soon as you reach out a helping hand, their jaws snap shut on you. This is why narcissists are so cruel to the people they date; One of the toughest sub-types to spot is the covert narcissist, because they blend into the background much of the time. Living with a person like that can be destructive and demoralising. They seek to achieve their greatest goal-being able to have whatever they desire as well as attracting other people whom they can easily exploit to satisfy their money cravings. Moneyed narcissists are always looking down on the working class. Covert Narcissists dangle their vulnerability in front of you as bait, just waiting for your good nurturing mothering/fathering instincts to kick in and rescue the poor little lost child they are presenting to you.

They may have one or two people they call friends but the relationships are distant with rare visits. Once they discover that it could be covert narcissism, they waste further … Many people waste years of their lives with covert narcissists trying to figure out the unusual dynamic they’re experiencing in their relationship. This is why narcissists are so cruel to the people they date; One of the toughest sub-types to spot is the covert narcissist, because they blend into the background much of the time. But unlike the overt narcissist, the covert narcissist doesn’t spread out its colorful wings every time it feels threatened. It took me a long time to realize that was the issue. People who are primarily covert narcissists can also have many of the traits of an overt narcissist, again in varying degrees.


But being married to a narcissistic husband can be a very complicated and thorny journey.

If you offer an idea, they’ll simply agree or say, “Great suggestion!” Here Are 50 Ways to Tell An expert's checklist for gauging where you stand . Narcissism Is Your Partner a Narcissist? It is only with a viewpoint of others, that the narcissism appears.
So while a covert narcissist has the same core traits of an overt narcissist (conceit, self-indulgence, and disregard of others), they present in very different ways. 1.Forget about having an amicable divorce. They don’t seek knowledge, wisdom, inner peace or insight. A narcissistic husband can be vain, insensitive to your needs, violent, and exceptionally critical of you. Covert narcissism is very difficult to put your finger on.

It is imperative to recognize the signs of narcissism in a person before jumping to any conclusion. Living with such a person can be devastating, emotionally crippling and render you ‘helpless’. Narcissism 7 Signs of a Covert Introvert Narcissist Quiet smugness, passive-aggression and more.

Since covert narcissists prefer to keep their inflated egos to themselves, they generally won’t outwardly argue with you. A narcissist who is truly arrogant and contemptuous may hide it well during the first few months of a relationship (though there may be tiny tells through their facial expressions, covert put-downs and so on) but their belief that they are inherently superior will eventually reveal itself.